Too soon to tell

Doctor's appointment yesterday went fine, in sum- it is too soon to tell if the anti-hormonal therapies are working.

I had a moment of panic when first his fellow came in and showed me the tumor markers, once again elevated from 125 to now 146- for the next 20 minutes my world came crashing down again as I assumed that 21 point increase meant the therapy was not working and the bone mets were not ER+ like the lymph nodes back in 2010. I had put so much hope into this new therapy I forgot that when changing therapies, it does take a few months to see the tumor markers reflect a success or failure. Finally my doc came in and reminded me of this. And once again, my world made sense, at least for another month. We talked some more about my next options- he really likes the idea of the oophrectomy (to remove my ovaries), if we can establish that the bone mets are estrogen dependent. I got my herceptin infusion and left feeling content.

In other news, I am going to be an aunt x 2 in July, as my sister and sister-in-law are expecting! So I feel good knowing that Parker will at least have some cousins his age (if he doesn't have any siblings).

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

Answered prayers

Got a call from the oncologist's office last Tuesday- amazing news actually. Dr. dug up my lymph node samples from last Feb. and requested that they be tested for estrogen receptors. Unknown to me, the lymph nodes were never tested for receptors, only for the presence of cancer and I had 4/12+ lymph nodes. The only tissue that was tested for receptors was the original biopsies of the breast tumor itself. And surprise surprise the cancer in the lymph nodes was over 90% positive for the estrogen receptor. Whether this was a different cancer altogether, or whether the original cancer mutated to be ER+, I will never know. And a final possibility is that the original testing was incorrect due to human or technical error. At first I was hugely excited and felt overjoyed at the idea of starting anti-estrogen therapy if it would buy me some more time.

Then the reality set in that in order to kick this cancer, I have to sacrifice my ability to ever have children again. This may seam like a trivial thing to most, obviously I want to live and beat this, but I always had the hope that one day I could be cancer free and have more children. Not to mention I will be sent into permanent menopause, complete with hot flashes and all the other ailments women complain of. As a woman, this is a big price and I really hope that this price fits the bill and sends the cancer into remission.

We talked about saving eggs, but the process would induce alot of female hormones, including estrogen- so sadly, that option is out. So tomorrow morning I will be starting my anti-hormonal therapy along with herceptin, tykerb and xgeva. The anti-hormonal therapy includes oral Femara and then a subcutaneous shot of Zoladex. If this therapy works, I will probably look into having my ovaries removed which has alot fewer risks in the long run. Wish me luck, and thanks for all the continued prayers! Pray that this is the one!

Welcome to 2012

Shortly after Christmas I had my PET scan and blood work done. I thought it would be bad because my back had been hurting more than usual. Although my tumor markers were only slightly elevated from last time- now 114, the PET scan showed 2 new spots in my pelvis, my tail bone spots had gotten brighter and the vertebral mets were variable. Some had gotten smaller, but some had also gotten bigger. I didn't ask to look at the scan this time, I think the more I know, and the more images I have of the cancer, the more anxious I feel moving forward. Right now all I know is that the cancer mildly progressed, but I have very little pain and live a completely normal life.

Doctor thinks the Gemzar and Carboplatin was no longer effective and we need to find a better combo for me. After some discussion, we decided to try going back on oral Tykerb, and combine it with i.v. Herceptin. I was very excited but also quite nervous- I am now not on any true "chemo", now just therapies that block the Her-2 receptor signaling. I was excited because I know my tumor markers dropped within the first month after being on Tykerb (with Xeloda) last time, and Tykerb was tolerable and oh yeah- Tykerb is oral, so no i.v.s for that one. I've been on and off Herceptin for almost a year now, so its nothing new- and has no side effects. Tykerb, like I said is tolerable- but challenging. Tykerb causes terrible diarrhea, and this forced me to modify my diet (no milk products) to manage the GI issues. But like last time, once milk products were cut out, I did just fine- just gonna miss my ice cream. I also know that women can be on this therapy for a very long time (years even).

The last thing the doctor brought up was possibly biopsying a bone met to check for hormone receptor expression. My primary tumor long ago was not responsive to estrogen or progesterone, but it is possible that the mets would have mutated to being positive. This is huge! What a concept- if they have become ER+ or PR+, I would have a whole new angle in this fight. And typically women with ER or PR+ cancer do better overall, these are the ones that live decades with their cancer. Sadly, however it would mean I would go on estrogen suppression, go through menopause and never be able to bear children again. The doctor said that my bone mets are behaving differently than typical ER-/PR- cancer. He said it is far more frequent to have ER+ bone mets that stay localized to bones, whereas the ER- ones will more often jump to other organs right away. So this little observation has me pretty excited!

No plans to start tamoxifen yet, we will wait and see how the Tykerb and Herceptin goes first.

Merry Christmas

With the holidays approaching, I think it is important to remind ourselves of just how blessed we all are to have loving family and friends. I am so thankful for my husband and our darling son, without them, I don't know what I would do. I am so very thankful for my physical health- I feel great and am enjoying life immensely. Although I want desperately to know that I have more time here, I am so very thankful for the time I have been given. I am very grateful to my program and my mentor for letting me graduate last Friday, it was a wonderful event.

My doctor appointment last week went fine, all my liver and kidney functions were normal! Yesterday I got back my Ca27.29 tumor marker and once again it is elevated, now to an all time high of 109. This is a 13 point increase, so I think it is safe to assume that something is going on, hopefully it is minor. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I am more determined than ever to continue to fight. And when I say fight- I mean fight fear, which is the only crippling disease from which I suffer. I must learn to trust that God is looking out for me and that He has a plan for me too. During this Christmas season, I am reminded of Mary the mother of Jesus, who similarly faced a very serious medical situation, giving birth without modern medicine. In those days, it was not uncommon for women to die in childbirth. I know my doctor will continue to work hard to find the next drug combination and I know my body will work hard to slow the cancer's spread. So please keep us in your prayers this Christmas season. God bless.

In other news, we have moved to our new house! It was a huge job, but we are done and are getting settled in. Parker really likes the additional space and he enjoys running around and playing ball in the basement. We also got our new pool table set up so we are enjoying that. Parker is still obsessed with pool and insists on playing either on his little table or our big table all day long. We are excited to welcome family for Christmas at our house this year, start new traditions and honor old ones.

Lots to be thanful for

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My Thanksgiving was bittersweet, it being the first holiday without my mother. Nonetheless we had much to be thankful for, family, friends & our health. You may think, health- well your not healthy. Actually I am very healthy even with my cancer, and it could always be much much much worse- so for that I am very thankful.

Doctor's appointment last week went fine, blood work showed some changes in liver enzymes- but still within the normal ranges. Tumor markers, which took a week to get, are basically the same. So it is again bittersweet- but could be much much worse. Last month they were 102, and this month they are down to 96. I was really hopeful that they would fall and I could have more confidence in this therapy, but once again I need to embrace the unknown. It is very very very encouraging that they didn't rise, and the doctor says that he is happy if they stabilize at this level and don't change. So for this I am very very very thankful.

So at the very least, I get another month on this therapy- and can relish in the lack of side effects and can be comforted that the therapy is working. Thanks!

Kristin's homerun tee-shirts

First off, I want to thank my brother-in-law, Chad Schwickerath and sister-in-law, Tammi Schwickerath for all the work they did designing, selling and participating in the breast cancer race in my honor. The tee-shirts are really cool, and I'm excited for Parker to proudly wear his soon! It was really touching to hear all the people who donated money or bought tee-shirts on my behalf. It means alot to me to know that there are people out there, wearing shirts with my name on them, that they are thinking of me, and are praying with me.

I had a most amazing dream the other night, in which my mother told me things would be okay and I got to hug her again, and my God- it felt so real. I like to believe that she is up there in heaven fighting for me too, that she is guiding my doctor's decisions and is beside me every step of the way.

I have my monthly oncologist appointment tomorrow and chemo on Wednesday. Really really anxious about this month's lab work. I have hip and back pain once again that coinsides with the locations of my bone mets. It's not as bad as it was when I was first diagnosed with bone mets, but it definately feels very similar. However on a positive note- it does not hurt to push on it, which makes new bone met activity unlikely. So I am going to cling to that rationale, and pray that it is just achy joints from the Gemzar and Carboplatin, combined with lifting Parker, not sleeping well and not exercising. I also have this new really weird pain in my arm on the mastectomy side. The arm pain is just above the elbow over my triceps and only hurts when pressed but feels fine when I use my arm. I'm thinking that its just tendonitis from carrying Parker with that arm, as the pain is worse after a long day of lifting and carrying him. And oddly it has moved up and down my arm so I'm really thinking it couldn't be a new bone metastasis. Plus with all the lymph nodes they yanked out and the radiation, infection, etc- there has to be a good amount of scar tissue on that side. This is still weird considering this area was not irradiated or touched during surgery.

Also in honor of the Packer's recent victory, here is the next Aaron Rodgers!

Two treatments down

Treatment on Friday went well- no real side effects. The worst was some bone aches that night and some fatigue on Saturday and Sunday. So all together not bad.

Also met with the doctor and discussed my lab work. My routine brain MRI (every six months) was normal and all my liver enzymes were at least alittle better than last month, and all within the normal range. Just got my tumor marker levels back today and they barely increased from last month, to my all time high of 102. This is good news, but not the change I was hoping for. I was secretly hoping they'd fall alot, but its not all that surprising that they increased slightly because it can take a month for the tumor markers to normalize after starting a new therapy. The Dr. said that within the first month it is not unusual for the numbers to jump as many cancer cells are dying and shedding the Muc1 protein into the blood. So maybe next month I will see the huge drop that I was hoping for.

House is coming along nicely- granite counter-tops and sod are in and down. Here are some pictures of the hickory cabinets in the kitchen.