PET results are in, and major changes MUST take place. Sadly the cancer has advanced significantly, both to my lungs and to innumerable lymph nodes in my chest. This is without a doubt now going to take a miracle. I still believe that I'm NOT dying, because I will live on in Christ always, just as we all will one day if we believe. During this very difficult doctor's appointment, I was able to drag a timeline out of my oncologist, and he said that if the newest therapy does not work, we'd be looking at 6 months of "good time" where the cancer would be still asymptomatic, after that I'm assuming shortness of breath, pain and all that would be part of the equation. So now is the time to live! Whooowhooo.
Of course it was not easy to celebrate when you just lost 50 years of your life. First we need to discuss therapy- I am now on high dose estrogen (estradiol 6 mg), which in his words "the estrogen-starved cells are so excited to see that they get drunk and die within the first few days" this causes what's called a tumor flare, which I'm definately experiencing (whooohoooo- good thing), I have terrible joint and bone aches, so bad, I am on a schedule of some pain relievers every 4- 6 hours. The cancer cells are dying with such rapidity that I'm feeling my bones almost falling apart. So I am shut up at home sleeping mostly trying to stay out of pain.
I've put together a list of goals that I want to achieve in the next 6 months:
-First would be to enjoy more time at home, stopping work, volunteering at Parker's daycare and writing letters to my boys as they grow up, exciting but also difficult work, so that's why I've got such great friends.
-That brings me to my next goal of spending more time with friends and family doing anything and everything from fishing to camping to wine sampling.
-My final goal for now- is to live a totally normal home life, make dinner for my family, kiss my hubby when he comes home, play with Parker at the park, go to church on Sundays and act like nothing has ever happened. I don't want Parker to remember this as a stressful time, but a joyful one. As I come up with more ideas and plans I will share them.
FYI: I'm really sick about talking about cancer, second opinions, trying new therapies, etc so if you have time and want to chat I'd love to catch up on you, life in general and anything besides cancer.