Prayer warriors help, I am struggling with pain spreading throughout my skeleton!  I've been in the hospital since Sunday to manage my painful bone mets.  My docs say I I may only have months to live, but no one can predict.  It depend on how I respond to my therapy.

We don't need any meals, right now, but if you are willing to help in person (or in spirit), I might take you up on it.   First off we need prayers.  Pray that the medicine keeps the cancer at bay or sends it running for the hills.
I am getting help from hospice, and they will aid at home.  I will have nurses and aids come to help with adjusting my meds, therapy for post radiation, and driving me to some appointments.
If you want to help, contact Patrick or I privately and suggest a way you can help,  here are some suggestions.  Please ask before you do something so we don't end up throwing out food we don't have room for.

1. Offer to babysit
2. Offer to mow the lawn
3. Take Kristin grocery shopping,
5. drive Kristin to appointments or help her at work to clean out her desk
6. Stop by for coffee, you now know I can't drive, but I have a coffee pot, and a keurig

My uiowa email has been terminated, my home Emil is ness.kristin@gmail.com
Thanks,
Kristin

New therapy MUST be working

Good news, the new therapy must be working because for the past 2 weeks, I've had the most horrible "tumor flare" ever.  My left femur hurts so bad I can barely climb stairs.  I'm mostly at home as I am in no shape to work, I am in chronic pain and on high level of pain relievers.  The doctor said that the thought is that the more pain you are in during the flare, the better response you will have from the treatment.  That doesn't indicate how long the therapy will work for, so we still have much to pray for, but we at least have a game plan for now. 
To clear up confusion from my earlier post, its not that I don't want to talk about my cancer, its that I like to talk about other things too, like normal things.  If you are concerned and want to talk to me about my situation, please talk directly to me, I am open to talking about my cancer.  But please remember to respect my wishes when it comes to treatment choices. 

Time to establish a new plan and a new normal

PET results are in, and major changes MUST take place.  Sadly the cancer has advanced significantly, both to my lungs and to innumerable lymph nodes in my chest.  This is without a doubt now going to take a miracle.  I still believe that I'm NOT dying, because I will live on in Christ always, just as we all will one day if we believe.  During this very difficult doctor's appointment, I was able to drag a timeline out of my oncologist, and he said that if the newest therapy does not work, we'd be looking at 6 months of "good time" where the cancer would be still asymptomatic, after that I'm assuming shortness of breath, pain and all that would be part of the equation.  So now is the time to live!  Whooowhooo.

Of course it was not easy to celebrate when you just lost 50 years of your life. First we need to discuss therapy- I am now on high dose estrogen (estradiol 6 mg), which in his words "the estrogen-starved cells are so excited to see that they get drunk and die within the first few days"  this causes what's called a tumor flare, which I'm definately experiencing (whooohoooo- good thing),  I have terrible joint and bone aches, so bad, I am on a schedule of some pain relievers every 4- 6 hours.  The cancer cells are dying with such rapidity that I'm feeling my bones almost falling apart.  So I am shut up at home sleeping mostly trying to stay out of pain.

I've put together a list of goals that I want to achieve in the next 6 months:
Goals:
-First would be to enjoy more time at home, stopping work, volunteering at Parker's daycare and writing letters to my boys as they grow up, exciting but also difficult work, so that's why I've got such great friends.
 -That brings me to my next goal of spending more time with friends and family doing anything and everything from fishing to camping to wine sampling.
 -My final goal for now- is to live a totally normal home life, make dinner for my family, kiss my hubby when he comes home, play with Parker at the park, go to church on Sundays and act like nothing has ever happened.  I don't want Parker to remember this as a stressful time, but a joyful one. As I come up with more ideas and plans I will share them. 

FYI: I'm really sick about talking about cancer, second opinions, trying new therapies, etc so if you have time and want to chat I'd love to catch up on you, life in general and anything besides cancer.